It was described by him as something in his chest dying to get out. I had never felt such a way before; myself. completely null; permanently disinterested in all living beings including myself. How could I have felt something like this for another living soul? How beautiful is he to introduce me to these feelings? How lucky am I to be shown love? This winter will be a warm one.
myloveilove.to.you
myloveilove.to.you
hi this is my fanpage for someone i like&love very much U///u and my reasons why... don't tell! the audio playing here is "myloveilove" by Bogdan Raczynski. he my love introduced me to this song , and this artist , and to me it sounds like our love , or rather , the love i feel for him ...
supplemental images here are my reactions! u//////u.........
What I love.
more than all the stars in the sky.
❁ His voice.
I love his voice. I love the way he speaks. He carries himself in such a way I admire. I admire him often from afar.
He always has something interesting to say. He has taught me so many things. He taught me how to embrace the parts of myself I have neglected out of fear of judgement and scorn, and I have been met with scorn, and he helped me still love those parts of myself after the fact.
I love our conversations together about the world, I like listening to his perspectives on humanity and how the world treats different types of people. I listen intently to his aversions towards this life and feel heavy in my heart that so many people have cast him away and I only want to hold him even tighter, so tight that he can't feel anything but knowing that he is not alone, because I am there, and my heart is desperately trying to crawl to him...
A scene from Satoshi Kon's Millenium Actress. I will go to him, no matter what.
I talked to him today and I just realize how much I want to love him, and keep hearing him... He has such a deep kindness in his heart. It permeates his whole being. I know he's becoming more aware of how much he is loved now, and what he does for this world, but does he know? Does he know that he carries a gentleness like a feather on the wind? When I am with him, I truly feel safe. I could express anything and he would try to learn, to understand. He could say anything and would want to understand. I want to know, I am ravenous to know, to hear... I want to. I truly do.
I hear the way he laughs in my mind, and I reflect on what he has helped me grow to be as a person. the acceptance, the shoulder I lean on, and the head that leans on me. His passion for what he loves excites me. His hope- a trait he may not be even aware is strong, is there, and I hear it, and it truly amazes me how no matter what, there is something there. His passion burns and I love hearing about it. I will listen to it just as I do his sorrows, his anger, his nil. I could just sit down and listen to him talk all day, no matter what it's about. I really, really enjoy being someone he can confide in.
Truthfully, I just like hearing him talk. ////
♥ His passion....
I really love the way he loves...... I don't know! How do I explain this.....? He loves so fully! It's so... Gah! Whenever he loves me, whenever he loves the world, when he loves his things, its so bright. It is commonly said how hate & love are similar, and his aversion to things, the things he is very strong about being against, show that same 'love', in a sense. He loves with such fervor! How?...
I could never even once dream that someone could really love me like how he loves. But when he loves it's so.......... it's very strong, It's almost overwhelming, in a sense, where I know how dearly he holds me, and when I doubt it. I know it's really there. He may fear clinginess, or being annoying, or being too much, but can't he see........?! I want to stay, I want to love him and I want to be loved. Of course you can cling to my leg and I will cling to yours. I want to love you. I want to care for him as much as I can. For as long as I possibly can....
There's so much color to the way he loves, there is so much brightness there. He has a multitude of things he adores, and i love hearing about them all, even the little things, his little ticks, the uniquely-he things he does & adores, how strongly his interests ly... It's so cute. It just makes me want to sigh. I like listening, a lot. I like hearing about his passions. Even if i have no interest or connection to the things he talks about.... It's always so fufilling to do so.
sometimes, my love for him is so strong, i feel like tearing up and asking how i can love him, and how i can love him forever and not let go.
❁ His person-hood.
The part of him I admire most. V//////v I just... I love him.................. His personhood. How could'nt I include this...? I just. I really enjoy "Him." I enjoy the way he is, I enjoy his changes and mutations, I want to love them all........ How do I........? I love the little things that make up my love. I love these things. I love how curious he is about everything, how thoroughly he considers things... I love how whenever he's happy he laughs awkwardly and starts spamming grins. I love how much he wants to listen to me ramble and I love whenever I trigger something that makes him ramble. I love how particular he is with things - He can only watch what he loves in a certain order, how his favorite cartoons become idols, how he spaces his words when he types. I love the way his hands look. I love how gentle he is, how admant he can be. I love the way his hair sticks together and I can imagine how it would feel to touch it. I love how honest he can be.
I love what he creates! Even when he thinks he's in an artistic slum, it's still so wonderful to me! I love how he makes me laugh! I love how he makes me want to hold him forever until he doesn't let go! I love the way he speaks, the way he types, I love how smart he is, I love being able to help him, I love learning from him... I love how he has changed I love how he has stayed... I can see him grow, I have seen him start to mature into himself, and it just makes my heart melt, because I'm so happy, I'm just so, so, so, happy... I want him to be as happy as he can be too. Today is special. So will the other days. He believes in luck. I love the way he does, I think it's cute. I don't want him to be alone ever again. Even if he feels lonely, I want him to know... I am there... I am watching... I am loving... Even if I can't be there... I am There...
I just love, love, him... and I wouldn't change that for the entire world!!!
I know the future will hold such wonderful things for him. I feel it in my heart, in my soul. I know it to be true - and this isn't just wishful confidence, an act of manifestation. I know it is true. Tomorrow is such a big, hazy cloud... You never know what will happen, but to me? It may be a little cheesy, No matter how hazy that cloud will be... I know that the future has something special in him. It just has to. He has worked so hard, and even if he didn't - he's simply him.
There are so many things in store for you, mylove. Today marks a new year! To many more!
so i hope he enjoys this... V//V.......... if he does find it, after all...
In Satoshi Kon's Millenium Actress, there is a scene where Chiyo "runs" through different time periods to get to a man who had promised her they would meet again when she was a young woman. Chiyo only sees him through the portraits he has done of her, left in places that make him seem so close, but so far away. No matter what people have told her, that he isn't worth it, that she is a fool, she keeps going. She knows because she feels it in her heart. She runs and runs until she can't anymore. He paints until their paths will cross. She keeps running.